Being a parent is admittedly the hardest job anyone can ever have. Yet, we have no training. For most, the way they parent is generally the way they were parented. And, for many, it’s mostly ‘on the job training.’ We assume we know how to be a good parent. It is certainly what we intend once we hold our child in our arms for the very first time. We are in a state of being that is filled with much love and wonder as we look at this new life. And then the reality sets in that we are now responsible for wellbeing and happiness of this child.
Wouldn’t it be great if you attended parenting university to gain the skills to be an empowered parent? We go to school to prepare for the jobs we will hopefully have when we graduate. We go in feeling insecure and we come out 4 years later with some sound knowledge and feel more confident to go out into the world and choose our new career. But, it never occurs to us that we should gain some sound knowledge for being the guide to another human being that is going to believe everything we say and watch what we do to learn how to live and be happy in the world.
We all need help as parents. We need to admit we need help and to prepare for this life long responsibility from a higher perspective and with the confidence that we know how to effectively parent. Our children are individual personalities that have the same needs and wants as we do and are depending on us to guide them in the right direction to know who they truly are. We need to look at them as already wise and knowing and be the one that reflects that back to them.
What if you don’t feel that you know yourself and don’t know how to live your own life well? What if you are having difficulties of your own and now you need to take care of someone else? What if you don’t feel good about who you are and are reactive instead of responsive and you project that onto your child? What if you don’t know how to parent?
Fortunately, you can learn how to be a loving parent who loves yourself and feels confident to guide your child to know that they are loved for who they are and not for what they do. You will know how to help them when they are not mature enough to help themselves using the right words at the right time. You will have the skills to help your child to know that they are here to be free to express themselves as the unique expression of life they came to be without judgement. You will help your child to know how to use their inner guidance when they are in difficult situations and trust that guidance because you do. You will learn and grow together in a very special relationship that is unlike any other that is based in mutual love, honor and respect.
Here are simple ways you can begin to connect with your inner empowered parent-
1- Use deep relaxation techniques daily including deep breathing and muscle relaxation. Take just 2 minutes each morning to get into a relaxed state by breathing deeply into your whole body to the count of 6 and out to the count of 6. Let your thoughts go. Then take 1 minute to tense and release all the muscles groups. These 2 simple techniques are proven to create a relaxed state of being so you can face what is up ahead with a calm body and mind.
2- Write out what you appreciate about your child. Writing out all of the positive aspects of your child will help you to focus on how unique and wonderful they are while you are in a relaxed state. Write out whatever comes to mind. Are they funny? Are they creative in a special way. Do they show you love and affection? When you take the time to write, you will feel a deeper connection to your child and they will feel it from you.
3- Notice when you are more responsive in a loving way when your child is challenging you and they will! Remember, they are new here and don’t have control over their emotions and behavior like you do as someone who is far ahead of them. They are watching and learning from you. When you are calmly responding instead of emotionally reacting with anger or worse, they are believing that it is the way they should also.Commend yourself when you are present and calm when it is difficult. This will affirm that you are a good and loving parent.
